


Slow Down

by crooklyn



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-02 18:55:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4070854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crooklyn/pseuds/crooklyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This pain is different, and good. It's a feeling she can get used to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slow Down

When he moves inside Ellie for the first time, he does not take his eyes off the place where her neck and shoulder meet. Ellie looks resolutely at his chest, and it's enough to blot out the small pain.

She's felt worse pain, either from punk kids in her quarantine or mutant mushroom freaks, so this? No big deal. Not so bad at all.

Well, that's a half truth. Because he is...well... _big_. Literally. But it's good and it feels like nothing...she's ever...felt.

"Slow there, Joel," her voice wavers. He stops right away and a hand reaches out, touches her cheek. Solid, warm.

"You--"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm okay. Just take it slow, big guy."

His lips quirk and he looks at her with what she calls in her own stupid head "the deep-ocean-look." His eyes look as deep and dark as the ocean (that sounds better in her head) and in that moment she has an image of herself drowning. And it isn't like the nightmare of her drowning because she can't swim--it's just what it's like to look into his eyes sometimes. It definitely doesn't happen every time, especially when they're running for their lives or just getting out of an argument over which blanket is whose, but that makes it more...just more.

She closes her eyes and feels that rush of arousal again, and it sends heat through her entire body, through her veins.

She asks him something. Even seconds after the words leave her mouth she can't remember what she said. Something along the lines of "I want you, Joel," or maybe, "Do you want this, Joel?" Each are tracks of thought that have been buzzing around in her head for a solid five minutes. She wishes she could say them both at the same time, but it would sound too desperate. Which she is, in a way.

He's been rocking back and forth the whole time, very slowly. She can't tell if he's been all the way inside yet. His palms rest on either side of her shoulders, and his thumbs keep anchoring her there with him by brushing against her shoulder bones.

He gives her an answer. "I want this more than anything, Ellie." The second one, then. She asked the second one--

"Ah," she whispers harshly. Nope, wasn't all the way in yet. He is now, and he stills when he hears her.

"Let me know," Joel's voice is gravel. "If you want me to stop. I'm serious."

"Yeah, that won't be happening," is Ellie's response. He looks at her, exasperated and handsome, and it's too much this close. Another rush of arousal hits her and her eyes flutter closed. Yes, they fucking flutter.

When she opens them, she can tell she isn't the only one that's been hit. Joel closes his eyes as if he's in pain--which is really, fucking hot--and he lowers his lips to her halfway lowered eyelids. She tenses in anticipation.

His mouth touches the paper thin skin, and she feels his warm breath hush over them, and she opens her mouth to taste it, as wierd as it is--

Oh god. He kisses under her eyes, down her cheek, the jut of her chin, right below her lips. For the first time since the first time he did it, he kisses her on the mouth. It's like a devouring, a rapture of the sweetest kind. She's...she's fucking filled with him.

She lets out a breathy laugh. She doesn't know why that's funny. Maybe it's not funny, and it just makes her happy. Fuck if she knows. Sure enough, he pulls back and asks, "Somethin' funny?"

She says, "Can you move, old man?" and he's thrusted her into the ground really before she can finish the question. Maybe half a second after.

"You better quit it," he says, but there's a hint of teasing in his tone.

Ellie can't respond when speech has failed her. Joel's teasing look immediately fades and he pulls out as if he was never there. "Ellie? Fuck. _Ellie_?" Her eyes are wide as she stares at him; half because _woah_ and the other half because he looks like a goddamn helpless puppy.

After the shock has worn off, her lips crack into a smile. "Holy shit."

He grabs her face with his hands. " _What_?" He asks. This time, the exasperation isn't as light hearted. More like worry.

"Sorry. Um, sorry. It just...that felt really good. Sorry." She says it one more time through the smile, which hasn't lessened despite the fact that she's closed her lips.

Joel stares at her as if in his head he's thinking _what the fuck is wrong with this girl_? And then he smiles the tiniest bit too. They look at each other, and of course her eyes can't help traveling down the sculpture of his body, and she sees...well, she sees _it_ hanging like a fucking white flag between his legs and her smile fades.

"So..." she whispers. "Sorry? Can we go again?" Yeesh, she must sound so pathetic, but it's become clear to her that ending it right now is not in the cards.

He puts his hands in her hair. "Yeah, just...don't do that again. Okay? Talk to me. Tell me the things you...want from me. And it'll happen."

"Don't go comatose. Got it."

"Okay," he's a little shaky. She's pretty sure she almost gave him a heart attack a few seconds ago, but when he returns to her he seems happy enough, and she sure as shit ain't sad.

She's not exactly impatient when he starts out moving slow, but she's got something a lot better in mind and wants to share it with him. She lightly touches his arm and says, "Can you do it like you did before?"

He might've been waiting for it too, because he nods a little bit distractedly and thrusts the same way he did when she almost had a seizure. Her toes curl, her mouth forms an O, her eyebrows raise of their own accord. She feels filled, and man, it's...better than good. There isn't a part of her that can't feel him.

And that right there is what makes anything that might have been uncomfortable to begin with worth it.

He is undoubtedly now, without question, a _part_ of her. Because he's inside of her. In every way. That makes sense...right?

After a few minutes and both of them are more or less near the finish line, Ellie sits up on her elbows, gets closer to him. She leans in his ear, and as he's still moving, says, "Wherever I go, I'll feel you. Between my legs. Yeah, Joel?"

Joel growls something she can't even begin to translate, and a few seconds pass before she feels his mouth latch onto her neck and _bite_.

The sound she lets out is unfiltered. Her back arches. Her breasts push against his chest. "Oh, fuck," she moans. It's her first big moan. It's something to be proud of. Okay, she's more embarrassed than proud.

Joel makes an angry, impatient sound and moves faster, grabbing her waist and holding her still.

"Everywhere," she huffs.

" _Ellie_ ," Joel says her name halfway like a warning, halfway like a prayer. "Slow down."

It's funny, because he's the one moving like he's trying to fuck her to China, he's the one amping everything up, but she gets what he means. Even so, she loops her arms around his neck and they hold onto each other like they're the last goddamn people on the planet. That's all, she thinks, that's all everything is.

Before long, something new is beginning. It's a feeling that starts right between her legs and goes straight to her head. There's searing lightening down her body, and it's one of the best things she's ever felt. She clutches him and the sounds she's letting out are, once again, super fucking embarrassing.

Joel moves faster than she's ever seen him move when he pulls out a minute later, and she does not protest when his grunts intensify and his cum paints her pale stomach. She stares at it, fascinated.

When it's all gotten quiet, she looks up and he's hunched over her, one hand braced on the ground, the other looting around for something in a bag next to them.

"Joel." Ellie asks. It's less of a question and said more in the style of 'oh, man.'

"Yeah?" he says quietly. He's gotten out an old rag and is wiping her stomach carefully, like a surgeon.

She takes a deep breath. "That was one of the best things...that's ever happened. And I don't want...I don't want you to..."

He stops wiping. Looks at her. Really looks at her. Then he reaches out a hand to her face and says, "You ain't gonna stop me from worrying. Ever."

"Yeah, of course I know that, but..."

He sits back, but there's a tenseness in his posture. "What're you gettin' at?"

"It's just that I know that you were reluctant to do this to begin with, and I know this only happened because you felt guilty about the other day, and I don't want you regretting it because hey, I wanted it just as--"

"Wait, wait, wait. You think that I did this because I felt guilty." It's not a question. His eyes have hardened and the deep-ocean-look is gone. Oh, boy.

She doesn't answer, just looks at the floor and picks at a piece of flint.

"Ellie." Okay, when he's using that tone it's best to look the fuck up, so she does.

"You may not know this, but there's goddamn blood on the sheets." She stills and scrambles to look closer at the space between them. Yes, she sees a small amount of blood. She almost can't believe it.

Joel continues, "Just because I'm worried, doesn't mean it wasn't what it was for me."

"What's that?" Ellie asks as she absentmindedly runs her palm over the blood stain.

He sounds uncomfortable. "Good."

" _Good_?"

"I don't know what you want me to say."

Ellie should be offended, and she is a little bit, but she knows why Joel's evading right now. She doesn't mind. She can still feel the wet spots on her stomach, and she's sore, and if those aren't indicators of how much he enjoyed it she doesn't know what is.

Some of the blood has crusted on her nail. While she should find it gross, she just lifts it up and studies it. Finally, she flakes it off.

Joel stands up and walks to the pile of clothes left on the floor. She leans back as he dresses and leaves him to it, lets herself space out, cleans herself up best she can. He tosses an outfit at her and it lands over her head. She doesn't move from under it.

"What're you...cute." Some of the coldness has left his voice. She hears his footsteps approaching and the shirt and pants are yanked off her head.

"Hey, I was using those."

"Ain't gonna get dressed?"

"Might need a little help."

He scoffs, does that little shuffle-back thing he does. He debates for a few seconds, looking at her with furrowed brows, and then sighs, seemingly defeated. He approaches her, the clothes still in his hands. "Stand up, then."

Ellie widens her eyes. "Wow, I mean, okay,"

She rockets off the bed like someone's shoved an upside down coke bottle with Mentos in it up her ass and stands in front of him. Somehow he manages to look displeased and happy at the same time.

It's slow, and arousing, and goddammit if it feels like he's actually taking _off_ her clothes when he tells her to lift up her arms and slides on her tank. Her breathing starts to get heavy. He holds out her shorts, and she leans on his shoulder to step into them.

He turns around for something. "Reckon you need a new bandage," he says with his back to her.

Ellie's lips screw up, but she keeps quiet.

He returns with a new roll of white bandages, and gestures to the dirtying one resting snug on her arm. "Should change these every few days." _Duly noted_. She's given up wearing long sleeves because of the hot weather, and while the random white bandage may look suspicious, no one's really approached her about it.

Joel's deft fingers carefully remove the bandage from her forearm, and then the blistering wound, the thing that started this entire whatever-you-call-it, is uncovered. Instinctively, Ellie moves her hand to cover it. Her face heats and she looks to the floor.

"Hey, hey," he says. He takes her hand in his. His fingers graze the bite, and he stops her from pulling away when she tries. "This..." she can see him struggle for the right words, like they're inches from his tongue. "Brought you to me. Ain't nothin' to be ashamed of. Might've...might've actually helped protect you." He's as serious as he's ever been the whole time they've been here. "You understand?"

It takes a second, but she nods. He can never stop her from feeling that instinctual sense of wrongness when she looks at it, that feeling of _this is bad, no one should see this fucking thing, ever_. She has a feeling it will never go away. But what Joel is best at is making her forget, if only for a little while, and that is the case now.

He carefully binds up the wound until she lets out a breath in relief. When he sees it's wrapped around her skin nice and tight, he steps back slowly.

"There. Let's go, yeah?"

The private smile he gives her is enough to make her heart hurt. Everything hurts sometimes, and nothing is the same, but following him outside into the afternoon can't be anything but worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone who read this. I was pretty nervous to post it. I know there's a lot of I guess controversy (don't want to call it that per se but it's the best word I can think of) surrounding this controversial duo and I totally understand it. It's weird, my take on their relationship really goes both ways: I can see them platonically in love with each other, and I can see them romantically in love with each other. 
> 
> I guess it's also this: it's been 20 years since the world went to shit, and some things don't seem as important anymore. I don't think Joel can live in a world without Ellie, and even with the age difference, it would be easy for feelings that intense for someone to turn into something romantic. And Ellie may be young, but she's smart and mature for her age. At any rate, she is not underage in this short story. Two consenting adults, people. 
> 
> Okay, that was my spiel. That's all I got. Have a good day or night or what-the-fuck-ever, guys.


End file.
